EMOTIONAL HEALING

Open Minded Healing Practice

“By listening to our self-talk, we learn where we are stuck”

Becoming Unstuck

From the regular practice of the body scan and sitting meditation, we can see the relationship between the thoughts we think and the resulting sensations in our body.

There is another important understanding; this is a two way communication. Our body sensations can also inform us as to what needs our caring attention.

With interest, courage and practice we can see how the unquestioned habits of mind may have lead us to deal with unpleasantness in unhealthy ways.

Our conditioned coping patterns could include: anger, over-eating, substance dependency, numbing and suppression of feelings etc.

We recognize and accept that we have these tendencies. And they may have served a purpose in the past.

With attention & intention (mindfulness) we now have a choice in changing to new self-caring and enjoyable ways of managing our unpleasantness.

  1. RECOGNIZING STRESS

We start this wholesome process by sitting in meditation and watching the self-talk of our thoughts.

What is the feeling tone of our thoughts?
Is the feeling tone caring, gentle and forgiving?
Is the feeling tone judgmental, suspicious and critical?

In our daily sitting meditation we practice the mindfulness attitudinal thoughts of:

  • Non-judgement

  • Acceptance

  • Letting Go

  • Gratitude

  • Trust

Next we notice the type of thoughts, when we have a stressful experience. Are the thought patterns mainly open minded or closed minded?

  1. CLOSE MINDED – Stress causing (reacting) Self-Talk

Blaming
You blame yourself for something you weren’t entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and deny your role in the problem. (antidote- non-judgement)

All-or-nothing thinking
You look at things in absolute black and white terms. (antidote- beginners mind)

Over generalization
You view a negative event as a never ending pattern of defeat.

Negatives
You dwell on negatives. “Something bad is going to happen”

Short changing yourself
You insist that your accomplishments or positive qualities don’t count

Mind reading –
You assume that people are negative towards you.

Fortune telling –
You arbitrarily predict that things will turn out badly.

Magnification
You blow things way out of proportion.

Minimization
You shrink the importance of things.

Emotional reasoning
You reason from how you feel. (I feel so stupid)

Should statements
You are overly critical of yourself or others with shoulds, musts or have to’s.

Over Personalization
Instead of saying, “I made a mistake.” You tell yourself, “I’m a dummy or a fool.”

Adapted from The feeling Good handbook by David D,. Burns, MD.

  1. OPEN MINDED – Stress Reduction (responding) Mindful Self-Talk

Mindful Inquiry & Responding

I wonder …?
Is there another way?
How can this be different?
What can I learn from this?
What needs attention here?
Can I change this situation?
Can I understand this situation?
What is my role in this unpleasant experience?

Thought Substitution

Gradually as we learn to change our stress causing thought patterns in sitting meditation with the support of the nine attitudinal qualities of mindfulness. These wiser thoughts (freedom phrases) start to enter our day automatically.

In mindfulness training this is known as the difference between Reacting and Responding.

NOTE: This Stress Reduction practice ​c​an be done in 3-stages.
1. In meditation recognise the type of stressful thought from the CLOSE MINDED list.
2. When a closed minded habit is recognized. Process it with the OPEN MINDEDNESS practice.
​3. Create your own open minded phrases to replace the old stress producing close minded self-talk.