Self-Love Practices

Self-LOVE

Awareness & Self-Love Practices

Take Away

This pathway helps you rest in awareness (freedom from ego) and heal with self-love (freedom from self-criticism). Together, they balance clarity and compassion.

ChatGPT said: Perfect—here’s a clear, side-by-side guide comparing Sam Harris’s Waking Up approach with a Self-Love / Self-Compassion approach (inspired by Kristin Neff, Tara Brach, and mindful self-talk practices).

 

Side-by-Side Guide: Awareness vs. Self-Love Practices

 

Aspect Sam Harris (Waking Up) Self-Love / Self-Compassion
Core Focus Awareness of consciousness itself. Realizing the illusion of a separate self through mindfulness and non-dual practices. Healing and nurturing the self. Using affirmations, self-talk, and compassion to soften inner criticism and foster warmth.
View of “Self” The “self” is an illusion; suffering arises from clinging to this sense of identity. The “self” is real enough to need care, kindness, and encouragement.
Primary Practices – Mindfulness meditation (Vipassanā)
– Dzogchen / non-dual awareness
– Concentration on breath or sensations
– Some mention of loving-kindness		 – Self-compassion meditation (Kristin Neff)
– Loving-kindness (Metta)
– Positive self-talk phrases (“I am enough”)
– Journaling, reflection, inner child healing
Language Style Rational, scientific, sometimes abstract. Minimal emotional tone. Warm, nurturing, emotionally validating. Speaks in a gentle, encouraging tone.
Goal of Practice Direct realization of awareness without identification. Freedom from illusion of self. Building resilience, soothing inner wounds, and creating a loving internal relationship.
Examples of Practice “Notice thoughts arise and pass. Who is the thinker?” “I am worthy of love. I treat myself with kindness as I would a dear friend.”
Benefits – Reduction of ego-based suffering
– Greater clarity, equanimity
– Deeper sense of spaciousness and presence		 – Increased emotional resilience
– Less inner criticism
– Greater capacity for joy, trust, and connection
Potential Limits Can feel detached, intellectual, or emotionally cold if practiced alone. Can sometimes reinforce “self” too much if not balanced with awareness.
Ideal for Those drawn to rational, secular, or advanced meditation practices (skeptics, scientists, deep meditators). Those seeking emotional healing, trauma relief, and nurturing self-acceptance.

How They Meet and Complement

  • Both encourage present-moment awareness and letting go of harsh judgment.
  • Both value compassion—Harris points to compassion as natural once selflessness is realized, while self-love traditions make compassion the starting point.
  • Together, they create a balanced path:
    • Harris: freedom from illusion of self.
    • Self-love: freedom from self-criticism.

Suggested Combined Practice

  1. Begin with Harris-style awareness:
    Sit quietly, notice breath and thoughts, recognize they arise without “you” controlling them. Rest in awareness itself.
  2. Add gentle self-love phrases:
    After settling, whisper inwardly:

    • “May I be kind to myself.”
    • “I am allowed to rest.”
    • “I am enough.”
  3. Close with compassion:
    Extend warmth to others: “May all beings be free from suffering.”

Takeaway:

  • Waking Up offers clarity and transcendence of self.
  • Self-love approaches offer warmth and emotional safety.
  • Together, they create a whole-person path: wise mind + kind heart.

 

What Is the Waking Up App?

 

Waking Up is a meditation and mindfulness app created by Sam Harris. wakingup.com+2Wikipedia+2
The app is pitched not just as a “stress-reduction” tool, but as a “new operating system for your mind”—helping people understand the nature of consciousness, meditate more deeply, and explore philosophical and contemplative teachings. Wikipedia+3wakingup.com+3Google Play+3

Core features include:

How to Get It and Cost

  • You can find Waking Up in the App Store (iOS) and Google Play Store (Android). Apple+2Google Play+2
  • On their official site, they offer subscription plans:
  • The app states that “Waking Up is free for anyone who can’t afford it. Request a scholarship.” wakingup.com

Potential Risks / Critiques to Be Aware Of

While many users appreciate its depth, there are some cautionary reports:

  • Psychological distress / derealization: Some users report experiencing depersonalization, panic, existential anxiety, or unsettling states when doing deep practices—especially those that deconstruct or question the “self.” Cheetah House
  • Because Harris pushes toward non-dual and “no-self” perspectives, some find the shift abrupt or challenging psychologically, especially if there’s unresolved trauma or sensitivity.
  • As with many meditation / spiritual tools, the effect depends heavily on one’s readiness, emotional stability, and guidance/support.

So a recommendation: if you (or students) use it, proceed gradually. Pay attention to emotional feedback, give space, and pause or step back if inner turbulence arises. It’s wise to embed these practices within broader self-care, grounding, and possibly even therapeutic support.

 

Other Best Sources & Practical Guided Practices for Self-Love / Self-Compassion

 

Here are several well-regarded resources and practices for cultivating self-love, self-compassion, and inner kindness. These tend to be more directly oriented toward healing, emotional gentleness, and nurturing, compared to a more purely awareness / non-dual approach.

Resource / Teacher / App What They Offer / Why It’s Strong Access / Notes
Kristin Neff / Self-Compassion.org A foundational voice in self-compassion research. The site offers guided practices, exercises (e.g. Self-Compassion Break, Soften-Soothe-Allow, Compassionate Body Scan), reading, and theory. Self-Compassion
Center for Mindful Self-Compassion (CMSC) Offers 10-week courses (LoMSC), retreats, workshops, and a community. Great for learning structure and deepening. Center for Mindful Self-Compassion
Headspace (Self-Compassion Course) A multi-session guided course specifically on self-compassion, using loving-kindness phrases and turning attention inward kindly. Headspace
The Self Compassion App (Chris Irons & Elaine Beaumont) An app offering ~50+ tools, guided audio, journaling prompts, reflective exercises rooted in Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT). Apple+1
Books / Authors Some influential titles:
• Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff
• Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
• The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristen Neff & Christopher Germer
• Falling into Grace by Adyashanti (for integrating awareness + heart)
Guided practices & exercises to try Below is a mini toolkit you can use (or share) in daily life:
• Self-Compassion Break (Neff) — pause, acknowledge suffering, offer yourself kindness, remind yourself of shared humanity
• Affectionate Breathing — breathe with warmth directed toward yourself
• Compassionate Body Scan — scan body while offering loving-kindness to each region
• Soften, Soothe, Allow — when difficult emotions arise, soften around them, soothe with compassion, allow them to be present
• Loving-Kindness to Self (“May I be safe; may I be peaceful; may I be kind to myself”)
• Journaling / letter to self — writing to yourself as a compassionate friend
• Supportive touch — e.g. placing a hand over your heart, stroking your arms gently as a gesture of care
• Inner compassionate friend visualization — imagine a caring presence within you offering comfort
• Reframing self-critical thoughts — noticing harsh words and re-phrasing them gently

My Take: Integration Is Key

From my perspective, Waking Up offers a rigorous and deep framework for exploring awareness, non-duality, and the boundaries (or illusions) of self. It’s valuable especially for people drawn to philosophy, neuroscience, and contemplative rigor.

However, for cultivating self-love and healing emotional wounds, I believe the self-compassion tradition offers more direct support. The heart-centered, emotionally generative practices are essential. Without them, awareness alone can sometimes feel cold or disconnected.

So my recommendation: use them together, weaving in:

  • Awareness practices (from Waking Up or elsewhere) to loosen identification and expand presence
  • Self-compassion practices to accompany the softer, tender, healing side of the path
  • A pace that respects your emotional terrain

If you like, I can put together a playlist / “pathway” of practices combining Waking Up teachings + self-love meditations you could follow over, say, 4–8 weeks. Want me to map that out for you?

ChatGPT said:

Wonderful—this is exactly the kind of integration that brings clarity of mind and warmth of heart. Below I’ve created a structured 8-week pathway, weaving Sam Harris’s Waking Up teachings (awareness, non-dual insight) with self-love / self-compassion practices (gentle self-talk, loving-kindness, healing meditation). I’ll also share books and YouTube resources to deepen your journey.

🧘 8-Week Awareness + Self-Love Healing Pathway

This is structured so each week you add a new layer. You can adjust pace (4 weeks = intensive, 8 weeks = gentle). Aim for 15–30 minutes a day.

Weeks 1–2: Foundations

Focus: Grounding in awareness + opening the heart with kindness.

  • Waking Up: Introductory Mindfulness Course (Sam Harris’s guided meditations).
  • Self-Love: Affectionate Breathing (Kristin Neff, guided audio on self-compassion.org).
  • Practice Blend: Start with 5–10 minutes mindfulness (observing breath/thoughts) → add 5 minutes of loving-kindness phrases (“May I be safe, may I be kind to myself”).

Weeks 3–4: Awareness of Self + Soothing Self-Talk

Focus: Recognizing thoughts/self as passing + bringing warmth to inner dialogue.

  • Waking Up: Exploring Consciousness meditations (awareness of thoughts without identification).
  • Self-Love: Soften, Soothe, Allow (self-compassion technique for emotional pain).
  • Practice Blend: Notice a self-critical thought → pause → soften around it → say:
    • “This is a moment of suffering.”
    • “May I give myself the kindness I need.”

Weeks 5–6: Non-Dual Awareness + Radical Self-Acceptance

Focus: Moving from observing thoughts → resting in awareness itself + embracing imperfection.

  • Waking Up: Dzogchen / Non-Dual Practices (resting as awareness, noticing no boundary between observer/observed).
  • Self-Love: Radical Acceptance (Tara Brach’s guided RAIN practice: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture).
  • Practice Blend: Spend 10 minutes resting as open awareness → close with “N” (Nurture) in RAIN, offering warmth to self.

Weeks 7–8: Integration & Expansion

Focus: Living compassionately in daily life + extending awareness outward.

  • Waking Up: Moments & Conversations (short teachings to bring awareness into daily activities).
  • Self-Love: Loving-Kindness to Self & Others (“May I be at peace… May all beings be at peace”).
  • Practice Blend: Alternate days of “resting as awareness” with “sending love inward and outward.”
  • Life practice: Use self-talk phrases when stressed:
    • “This is hard, and I’m not alone.”
    • “I can meet this with kindness.”

Best Books for Integration

  1. Sam Harris – Waking Up (core awareness & non-dual teachings).
  2. Kristin Neff – Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself (practical emotional healing).
  3. Tara Brach – Radical Acceptance (gentle integration of mindfulness + self-love).
  4. Christopher Germer – The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion (step-by-step exercises).
  5. Adyashanti – Falling into Grace (bridging awareness and compassion).

Best YouTube Resources

  • Sam Harris – Waking Up app teasers & talks: search “Sam Harris meditation” → short guided awareness practices.
  • Tara Brach Channel – hundreds of guided meditations, especially RAIN practice for emotional healing.
  • Kristin Neff – Self-Compassion Practices (short talks + guided exercises).
  • Jon Kabat-Zinn – Mindfulness for Beginners (MBSR roots, kind presence).
  • Headspace YouTube – animated explainers + short guided compassion meditations.

 

Scroll to Top